Low Self-worth and Low Self-esteem

Low Self-worth and Low Self-esteem

For anyone who struggles with low self-worth and low self-esteem you will be aware of how this can impact your emotional well-being, relationships, and the ability to be your authentic self. You’re yearning for acceptance and fear of rejection can impact your behaviour, and you may find yourself spending a lot of time behaving in ways that you believe others expect of you to gain acceptance. However, this only leads to struggling to accept yourself.

The first thing to understand is that this is not your fault. None of us were born with low self-esteem or low self-worth, indeed we all can be the best version of ourselves if the environment we grow up in supports this, but unfortunately for some of us this is not the case.

From a very young age we tend to make an evaluation of ourselves according to the regard of others, especially those we rely on for our survival such as our parents or caregivers. When we receive feedback that is positive, it is more likely we will accept who we are and develop a healthy self-esteem and self-worth. Unfortunately, when conditions are placed upon us to receive this positive regard, we are likely to view this as a sign that we are not good enough just the way we are.

Sadly, for some we continue to view the world through the lens of not being good enough. This can result in constantly comparing ourselves to others, and having unrealistic expectations in the pursuit of perfection. In today’s world we are not only comparing ourselves to small groups of people, but many thousands.

Building self-esteem and self-worth takes self-compassion and patience as you are challenging old familiar messages that have been programmed in your mind since childhood. Recognising your strengths and qualities can shift your mindset from self-doubt to empowerment. Behaving in ways that are more aligned with your values can provide a sense of achievement and boost self-esteem.

Surrounding yourself with people who share the same values and are nurturing and supportive, will do wonders for your self-worth. Pay attention to your internal dialogue, become curious about what your mind tells you without identifying with your thoughts (your mind tends to lie). Seeking support from a professional who can help you navigate these complexities can be invaluable. I look forward to the opportunity to support and guide you towards an improved self-worth and self-esteem.

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Donna Douglas

Your Calm Caring Compassionate Counsellor

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