The Power of Repair: Why Apologies Matter
Why Repair is so Important When a fight occurs, it creates a rupture in emotional safety. Even if the argument is considered “small”, the nervous system experiences it as a threat: “Am I safe here? Am I valued? Do I matter to you? Repair communicates to the person being hurt that: You matter. Our connection […]
Strengthening Relationships: How Couple Counselling Can Help
Relationships are one of the most meaningful parts of our lives – they bring connection, love and companionship. Even the strongest of partnerships can face challenges as over time stress, misunderstandings, or shifting life circumstances can make it harder for couples to stay connected. Couple counselling offers an opportunity to explore these challenges together, strengthen […]
Living by Your Values (Not Your Thoughts)
We all have hundreds of thoughts every day. Some of these thoughts are helpful and some not so much. Examples of unhelpful thoughts are “I am not good enough” “Why bother because I will fail”. What if we didn’t allow ourselves to be guided by every thought that pops into our head and instead be […]
The Cost of Not Being Your Authentic Self
When you consistently live in a way that’s not aligned with your authentic self, it creates chronic psychological stress, which can lead to both mental and physical health issues over time. Mental Health Issues Anxiety & Panic Disorders . Constantly monitoring how you come across, and suppressing your true feeling increases tension and fear. . […]
Being Your Authentic Self-and Why This Can Be Difficult for Some
Being your authentic self means living in a way that is true to your values, emotions, and beliefs, rather than conforming to external pressures or social expectations. It involves self-awareness honesty, and congruence between your inner experience and outward behaviour. Key aspects of “the authentic self”: Self-awareness– Knowing your own thoughts, feelings, motivations, and values. […]
Understanding Why We Can Become Trapped in Dysfunctional Relationships and Communication Patterns
Often, we unconsciously take on roles in relationships which contribute to a cycle of disconnection and conflict within these relationships. These unconscious patterns are usually learned and often rooted in old wounds or survival strategies. We may shift from one role to another quickly within the same interaction. Stephen Karpam (1968) aptly named this a […]
What is Resourcing?
Resourcing is a technique used in trauma-informed therapy to help individuals feel safer, calmer, and more grounded-especially when facing emotions like anxiety or panic. “Resources” can be memories, people, places, skills, or sensations that make you feel safe. Why is Resourcing Important? People with trauma histories often have nervous systems that are chronically on high […]
Defusion Techniques in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
“You are not your thoughts” What is Cognitive Defusion? In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), defusion is the process of creating distance from unhelpful thoughts so they don’t control your behaviour. Instead of trying to change or get rid of thoughts (which often tends to make them more powerful), ACT teaches you to see thoughts […]
Understanding Triggers, Old Wounds & How to Grow from Them
What is Happening When You Get Triggered? A trigger is a strong emotional reaction to something in the present that is rooted in the past. It is your nervous system responding to a perceived threat- even if you are safe in the present moment. Common signs of being triggered: Sudden anger, fear, sadness, or shame. […]
Understanding Repetition Compulsion: Why we repeat old patterns in relationships – and how we can break free
What is Repetition Compulsion? Repetition compulsion is a psychological pattern where we unconsciously repeat past experiences-often painful or unresolved ones-in an effort to gain a different outcome. It is most common in relationships, where we may find ourselves drawn to familiar but unhealthy dynamics. For example: A person that felt abandoned in childhood may be […]